


Never Sleep Alone

by Emono



Series: R/NR Series [2]
Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Body Worship, Dirty Talk, Drinking, Emotional Constipation, Frottage, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Shameless Smut, on Josh's part
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-08
Updated: 2015-10-08
Packaged: 2018-04-25 12:01:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,494
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4959832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emono/pseuds/Emono
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The winter Beth and Hannah go missing was not all tragedy and horror. Just an hour or two before, there was love. There was a long yearned for act of passion that may have been soaked in tequila but was no less real, or important. Josh and Chris collide like touch-starved comets right before Josh loses everything he holds dear. Maybe even everything he loves.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Sleep Alone

**[Climbing class playlist](http://emono-omae.tumblr.com/post/130721135696/a-climbing-class-fanmix-civilian-wye-oak) **

 

* * *

 

 

They’d hung out with the others the whole evening. Movies, video games, a cute game of spin the bottle that had led to Emily kissing Chris and Josh downing the nearest beer to choke down jealousy. Beth had teased him mercilessly for almost an hour until she’d gotten distracted with Sam and some old poetry books they’d found in a side room.

  


When everyone finally got preoccupied with Kings and trying to remember the rules, the dynamic duo stole some supplied and snuck upstairs. They snuck to the far side of the cabin to put as much distance between them and the others as possible. The world seemed softer on the second floor. Quieter, with rounded edges and eerie quiet. The silence itched at Josh’s nerves and he flipped on the stereo as he passed.

  


’ _I am nothing without pretend, I know my faults, can't live with them_ …’

  


“Gay.”

  
“You love it.”

  


The ethereal music filled the hall and swirled into the open sitting room that was tucked into the corner. It was laden with a plush couch that faced the bay window. It was amazingly comfy and it gave them a heavy illusion of privacy. They hunkered down together on the couch and set the tequila and little bowls on the glass coffee table. The couch was long enough for them to sit comfortably apart but they had never been good at personal space. The same swing and slide when they were kids on the playground, always sharing a bed when they stayed over at each other’s houses - drinking from each other’s glasses, using each other’s bags, eating off the same plate, and never without an arm around the other. They plopped down facing one another, jean-clad legs tangling up between them. It was warm, intimate, and they were tipsy just from a few beers and being so close to one another.

  


“Mike is such an idiot.”

  


“Him and Emily won’t last, I can tell.”

  


Josh snorted as he messily drizzled out two shots of tequila. “Gossipy little bitch, dude, like always.”

  


“You’re no better, asshole.”

  


“Whatever.” Josh licked his thumb and swiped it across the side of his throat, dipping it in the salt and dragging it over the shining skin. It stuck well and he flashed a grin at his best friend. “You first.”

  


Chris bit the side of his lip and looked at salty trail, eyes flicking to Josh’s smug expression like he didn't’ think he’d do it. They were already a little drunk but he wasn’t sure he couldn’t blame the liquor on this. They’d always teased the line of too-much - lingering hugs and loud, smacking neck kisses that were meant to be a tease but left tingles behind that they felt hours later. Dancing around each other in closer circles as the years went on. They were close and he liked it that way. But there was always a step they didn’t take, didn’t dare for a hundred reasons. This casual flirting, the winks and long touches, had sustained him over the years and had overshadowed every girl he’d gotten with.

  


And though he didn’t dare to hope or linger on anything, he got the same vibes from Josh. Like he didn’t want to pull away, to stop touching. Especially on those nights when Josh’s busy mind plagued him with nightmares and they would huddle close in the dark, touching skin-to-skin to ground him into this reality where the monsters of his subconscious couldn’t sink their claws into him.

  


“Cochise, your turn.”

  


The mocking drawl kicked Chris into gear. He leaned forward, their legs tangling further before he dragged his tongue over Josh’s skin. It was salty but amazingly work, a tiny rasp of stubble for a moment and then just smooth flesh. He couldn't help but go slow, drag out the contact, and from the way Josh’s fingers brushed over his upper arm the other didn’t mind it. He left reluctantly and grabbed the full shot glass, throwing it back with a grimace. He fumbled to drop it and grab a lime, shoving it between his teeth before shuddering. It burned so bad and left a bitter taste in the back of his throat, briefly lighting an uncomfortable fire in his gut.

  


“Look at that little bitch face,” Josh laughed.

  


“I fucking hate tequila.” Chris hated how he already had a bit of a slur. “Tell me why exactly I’ve never been up here before?”

  


“Well, no lies, this is where my parents were when we had those long summer fests,” Josh explained, handing over the salt with a little nod to put it somewhere. _Summer fests_. It was a strange phrase for those stretches of summer where the Washingtons decided to take vacations longer than a few days where Josh had to stay behind for his therapy sessions. Coupled with his meds, they were effective and helped him as a release valve so he could go through his days pretty normally. It’d be two weeks or so at a time where they’d have the Washington manor to themselves, Chris invited over with permission so Josh wouldn’t be alone in the giant place. They spent most of it in sweats and eating terrible food and watching way too many shitty sci-fi and horror movies, wrestling, playing video games, trying to shoot pool, or consuming comics by the stack.

  


They’d never run out of things to do together, even when the night came and the shadows flared up in Josh’s mind without the sun to chase them away. Chris was there as best he could be, and he’d learned a lot of tricks to soothe his friend in those summer fests. He liked the Washingtons, really, and he’d been grateful for all the great time with his best friend - but he hated the haunted look Josh would get when he recalled those stretches of summer without his family.

  


The smaller, three day trips had been such bright spots for Josh. He’d wished for more of them growing up.

  


Feeling a little silly, Chris swiped saliva and salt over his own cheek and playfully waggled his eyebrows at Josh. The other grinned again and quickly shot forward, snagging a handful of Chris’s t-shirt and dragging him in that last inch. Josh’s lips felt damp and soft on his cheek before a hot tongue lapped at the skin, mouth curving into a smile when he laughed. Chris made a big show of squirming and making a face but they both secretly enjoyed the closeness, the little licks and the feel of each other’s breath brushing against too-warm skin.

  


Josh reluctantly pulled away to lean over and grab his shot, taking it down without a grimace before taking the lime between his teeth. He sucked it down and left the rind on the little plate with the rest of the fruit. He gave a little head shake and his cheeks got a little more red, eyes a little darker. “That stuff is pretty strong.”

  


“Hell yeah it is.” Chris huffed out a laugh. He rested fully against the back of the couch, leg tucking between his friend’s hip and the cushion as well. His hand skimmed over Josh’s knee and he curled his fingers in the lapel of his button up, thumb dragging over it. “You look good in this, mountain man.”

  


Josh poured out another round of shots and looked down at the red and black plaid, how it stretched tight across his chest. “You think?”

  


“Oh yeah.”

  


“Plaid making you a little gay for me right now, bro?” Josh teased, fingering the buttons to pop them one at a time. Chris felt his throat go a little dry as he saw there was no undershirt - just smooth skin. Pearly whites flashed at him before a low button was freed, material pulled aside to show off his firm chest. Chris shamelessly tracked the way Josh heavily licked at his thumb before swiping it right above his half-exposed nipple, dipping the digit in salt before rubbing it into stick. “Dare you.”

  


“Dude, come on.” He hated how he was rasping.

  


Josh grabbed a wedge and put it between his teeth, fruit held out to be bitten. “Double dog dare you.”

 

“Oh, well, that’s different,” Chris drawled with a growing smirk. “You think I won’t?”  


Josh scoffed around the lime, wiggling the open flat of his shirt. “Bro. I _know_ you won’t.”

  


“Fuck you, come here.”

  


Chris let the liquor work its courage magic and surged forward, putting one hand past Josh and braced on the arm of the couch while the other yanked the shirt further away.

  


“You know,” Josh teased around the lime, “You’re real sexy when you’re determined, Cochise.” The words trailed off in a choked sound that could have been a moan as Chris put his mouth on him. The blonde’s hand trembled as he rested it flat on his pec, thumb settling on the stiff peak of his nipple. It gave them both a jolt but was swallowed up by the filthy kiss Chris dared to press to his friend’s chest. Lips and tongue worked clumsily to lick up the salt but he got lost in the motion, eyes clenched shut and Josh’s fingers curling tight in his sleeve. Under the salt was just clean skin and it was _Josh_ and when he dragged his teeth against it tiny goosebumps cropped up and he kissed them, unknown braille teasing him with messages his fingertips longed to decipher.

  


_Way too much tequila._ Chris pushed up, biting his lip as his thumb caught under the shirt and brushed stiff, bare skin. He sat back and quickly grabbed his shot, down it with a heavy grimace and a hiss. The lime did little to cut through it but it was a refreshing burst before the wave of dizziness. He slumped against the back of the couch, letting his head rest on it and his body slump as the tequila hit his system. The world swam but he felt anchored by the press of their calves and knees, the feeling of his foot squished between the couch and a denim clad thigh.

  


“Do you remember the last night you spent at my house before school started up again?”

  


Josh’s voice cut through the haze and he picked his head up. He licked his dry lips and cringed at how salty they were. “Yeah?”

  


“I had that nightmare, the really bad one,” Josh reminded him, leaning forward to rest his cheek on the other’s knee. His cheek rasped against the denim and he let his fingers play with the fringed bits at the bottom of his jeans. Chris relaxed again, his own fingers touching the edges of his plaid sleeve. They met eyes only briefly, both flushed from liquor and the intimacy of the position. “You stayed with me through the whole night.”

  


Chris chewed his lip and looked down a his own lap. It was true. The last summer sleepover had ended up with Josh screaming in his room. Chris had been getting a snack in the kitchen but had heard his friend’s cries and bolted, leaving a mess behind that Hannah had complained about later. He’d shut and locked the bedroom door behind him before running to the bed. Josh had been screaming his head off, crying and strung tighter than a bowstring.

  


It had taken every trick he knew to get Josh to lay down again and to convince him that there was monster to destroy him. Chris had rolled his friend into his chest and curled them close as he listened to near-hysteric mutterings about poison claws and shadows, hushing softly as he pet through his hair and kept a firm hand in the middle of his back. Josh’s hurried whispers had rasped against his collarbone, fingers weak as a kitten as they pushed at his stomach and sides like he was trying to get him to see the darkness for himself.

  


In an act of desperation, Chris had pulled a movie from every cliche young adult film ever and kissed him with a swift determination that had shocked them both. It had been brief but it had silenced whatever had been hurting Josh, cut through those shadowy figures for at least the night. He could still remember Josh’s face, even in the dark. Surprised, soft, those emerald eyes full of tears but wide in disbelief - in something akin to hope. Or that was just what he projected for his own weird fantasies.

  


‘ _It’s gonna’ be okay, Josh. I’m not going anywhere, okay?’_

  


‘ _O-Okay.’_

  


Josh had passed out face first into his chest after that, and didn’t say a word about it the next morning. It had been a moment Chris had treasured, wrapped up snug and secure and shoved deep into his mind where he could revisit it alone in his own lonely bed. A tiny kiss - nothing really, in reality. A little peck, something that could be written off for in the moment or natural comfort. But it had felt special, a singular experience that he wasn’t sure he could replicate even with the hottest girl.

  


He’d kissed Josh, the one person in the world that completely understood him and had seen his ugly side without abandoning him. The one person he knew accepted him, no matter what. His best friend, the one who felt like his entire world sometimes. And that kiss had meant more to him than it should have.

  


Bringing it up like this made him nervous.

  


“You kissed me.”  


Chris’s stomach bottomed out and he stuttered into a rushed ramble. “Shit, Josh. I-I’m such a fuckhead. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done it but you were so upset and I just wanted to help, you know I only want you to feel better and safe but that wasn’t exactly the best thing to do. I was just so fucking worried and I thought - well, I didn’t know what I thought, but-”

  


He yelped when a lime slice was shoved into his mouth, teeth sinking into the fruit. He blinked at his quick-moving friend and was greatly relieved to see a smile waiting for him.

  


“Chris?”  


“Mn?”

  


“Shut up.”

  


“Wait, dude-” It was muffled and fell on deaf ears. A solid palm laid on his chest and pushed him down, pinning him to the couch on his back. Josh crawled between his legs, smile turning more shy and ears going red at the tips. Chris could barely look at him as pure warmth bubbled up from his stomach and into his chest, spreading out to make him shiver. His eyes went wide as Josh popped the button of his jeans, lip caught between his teeth like he couldn’t believe it either. Lime washed across his tongue as he bit down in shock, watching as Josh tugged down his jeans and rucked his shirt up to the top of his stomach. He wasn’t fit like his best friend - he was pretty soft, always had been, and he felt prickles of embarrassment as Josh stared so openly at him.

  


“Hey,” he protested weakly.

  


Josh eyed all the exposed skin and couldn’t reply right away, thoughts buzzing pleasantly with what he was about to do. Chris was so pale under his hands, so buttery soft that he just wanted to lick everywhere. The little pudge of his tummy met his hips in a dip, a muffin top he wanted to nibble up. There was no definition, no Adonis belt to follow, but there was so much so much nice flesh that begged to be nibbled and marked up. He hooked a finger in Chris’s jeans and tugged them down a little more, the blonde’s breath hitching sweetly when his Xbox boxers ( _of course, Chrissy_ ) caught just above his cock. It was plumping up and that made his own cock twitch like an answer. Surprisingly thick blonde curls splashed between his thighs, trickling up to his shallow belly button. He wanted to nuzzle into them but he didn’t want to scare his best friend away. The liquor was strong, mixing in heavy with his blood and clogging up his brain, but _fuck_ how he’d wanted this.

  


He’d been waiting so long for an opportunity like this and now he was seizing it. Chris, his rock, his eternally burning blonde sun that stayed so bright and warm for him even when he was wrapped thick in his own darkness. He could’ve written a hundred poems about him if he had the skill. Not that anyone would ever see, he couldn’t let his big dumb love feelings get exposed. They were too deep, too intimate and nameless for anyone to really understand. Not even himself. He didn’t care if it made him gay or whatever, he just knew he wanted to be with Chris - wanted to stay by his side.

  


With Chris looking so willing and pretty underneath him - he couldn’t help but want to strive to see if even an ounce of those feelings were returned.

  


Josh was the first to break eye contact, lashes falling low as he laid a wet kiss on his friend’s hip. It was so amazingly soft and he couldn’t stop the groan that escaped his chest, knuckles digging into the other’s belly as he laved over the skin. Chris squirmed and made little noises around the lime but none of them sounded bad. He got a little giddy rush by the way the other’s hips twitched like he wanted to press up into it. He squeezed at his stomach and sighed happily at how filled his palm.

  


“You like this,” Josh teased breathlessly, lips already aching for more contact. Chris somehow got more red, ears and nose beet red in the most endearing way. “I do too.”

  


The blonde actually squeaked and it made his heart flutter.

  


“Chrissy, babe, you know I’ll stop in a second,” Josh promised with a slur. He cleared his throat and tried again, blinking away the buzz of booze. “Right? You know I won’t do anything you don’t like?”

  


Obedient as always, Chris kept the lime between his teeth but nodded. They seemed to ride a high wave of dizziness together but they kept close, breathing in sync just for those few moments as they accepted the steps they were stumbling through. Josh suckled an open mouth kiss on the other’s hip and dared to put some pressure from his teeth. Chris’s tiny whine made his blood rush south and when he pulled back the skin was dark red and shiny. He had to blink a few times to get himself together but Josh managed to fumble for the salt, taking a pinch and savoring Chris’s eager squirm as he spread it in a wide arc.

  


Blue eyes suddenly met his again and there was so much spoken, so many years weighing between them in the best and worse ways. Josh lowered again, staring into the only set of eyes he’d never been bothered by - the only ones he could gaze into without feeling the harsh whispers of doubt.

  


His name was muffled around the lime slice as he tugged the cute boxers down another inch, threatening to expose the other. Josh laid his tongue flat on the warm skin and licked up, slow and thick to make a shiny trail from the crease of his thigh up to the top of a soft hip. He could see the way Chris’s thighs bunched, could feel the shiver under his tongue.

  


Josh had to pry himself away and snag the half-shot he’d poured, swishing it down so quick it hardly touched his tongue. He hissed through his teeth and crawled up the line of Chris’s body, hovering over him. Dark lashes fluttered and his brow pinched up, the first itch of doubt skittering across his mind. He wet his lips and eyed the lime edge that sat snug between pink lips.

  


“Real or not real?” Josh breathed out, an edge of need to the words. “I can’t tell. I thought I was okay but…”

  


Chris grabbed the lime wedge and raked it between his teeth, sucking it clean and letting it fall to the floor. Damp fingers brushed the other’s high cheek and it was leaned into. “Real. Promise. You asked if I wanted it, and I really fucking do.”

  


It sounded sappy but it was so necessary. Mike would’ve joked about killing the mood and maybe Sam would’ve hated the way it cut through their “romantic spontaneity” or whatever, but Josh’s mind worked a certain way and it craved the reassurance. They called it a game, “Real or Not Real” but it was a painful jungle gym of dips and curves they had to be navigated to keep from losing Josh in a spiral. It was a fail safe, something they’d been “playing” since they were younger, and it was so damn important.

  


“Yeah?” Josh questioned softly.

  


Chris nodded with a smile. “Yeah.”

  


It was enough to silence the beast that was his fear and Josh grinned, confidence resurging. “I’m still getting my chaser.”

  


Chris wasn’t sure what that look meant but it made his stomach flip over on itself. Josh’s fingers had a bit of a tremble in them as they curved over his shoulder and up to cup his nape, squeezing almost reassuringly and holding him still as he inched closer. Chris made a breathless noise of anticipation but couldn’t really relax, even with the alcohol.

  


Josh chewed the side of his lip, eyes dancing between Chris’s mouth and those big blues. “Close your eyes.”

  


Chris sucked in a shaky breath and obeyed. With his eyes shut he couldn’t see Josh look over him with a worried, pinched brow or the way he chewed more harshly on his own lip. The bounce between sure and unsure was dizzying. It was just one more move, one they’d wanted for so long, and need was bubbling in their chests so hot that it felt like a strong wind would tip them over. Things were so dangerously close to changing.

  


_It’s real, it's real_ , Josh chanted to himself, the words swirling through his head until he really started to believe them. He believed Chris, he always believed him, and it was the one reason why he wasn’t screaming and running away from possibly a terrible decision. That, and the tequila.

  


The second their lips touched they yanked away. The contact burned and fire was catching. Chris didn’t have time to even open his eyes before Josh kissed him again, firm and _real_ and like he never wanted to do anything else. One of them moaned and it was eagerly swallowed up. Chris’s hands flittered uselessly for a few moments before they came down to lay on his friend’s waist, fingers mapping the faint ridges of muscle and ribs through a thin layer of plaid. It was soft but when he dipped his hands beneath the hem he found the skin there much more supple, more inviting. Josh’s thumb came up and pressed against his chin, just below his lip, and he obeyed the silent command to open up.

  


The sour of tequila faded under the sweet citrus as they licked almost shyly, tongues sliding in a hot glide that made their chests tighten up. Whatever damns had been holding back their desire shattered and they clutched at each other, Josh dropping down that last bit to press them flush while he cupped the other’s neck to keep that sweet mouth right where he wanted it. Chris openly groaned as their hips met in a slow, dirty grind so they could feel just how much the other wanted this. They were shamelessly hard and a little dizzy from the rush of blood and liquor, their lips and fingers clumsy.

  


“Fuck,” Chris rasped when they finally parted, noses brushing as they panted into each other’s mouths. Their foreheads bumped and pressed, eyes clenched shut as they tried to figure out what they wanted. “What are we doing, fuck, fuck. What the hell.”

  


“I want to,” Josh stated simply, thumb rubbing over a fluttering pulse. “I’ve _wanted_ to.”

  


It was a small confession but it weighed heavy enough to choke the breath out of Chris. A hundred poetic confessions tickled the back of his throat, threatening to trip over his numb tongue. He whined and dug his fingers into Josh’s hips, lust pulsing between his thighs as he felt how firm the other was. There was power in the man above him, his best friend - his everything.

  


“Hey.” The word was a quiet, gentle request. Chris finally opened his eyes and Josh was there, gazing at him so sweetly his heart jumped up in his throat. The other’s hand slid up and cupped his jaw instead, thumb sweeping over his cheek. “Can we just skip the classic ‘oh god are we gay? No, I’m Josh-sexual’ labeling bullshit? We can do it tomorrow and I _really_ want to get my hands on your dick.”

  


Chris gaped before he burst into a nervous laugh. Josh grinned at the little crinkles that showed up at the corner of his friend’s eyes, the laugh lines around his mouth, and the sound of sudden joy. It made him all the more determined and he sat up, curling his fingers between the buttons of his shirt and yanking. Buttons plipped off the cushions and onto the floor, the ruined shirt getting shucked off and tossed with them.

  


“Fuck,” Chris puffed. He’d seen Josh shirtless before but never after having _ripped_ off his shirt and straddling his lap. Not with Josh giving him a smoldering stare, flexing blatantly with an unmistakable thickness in his jeans. “You can’t just say shit like that, looking all fucking-”

  


“All what?” Josh prompted with a growing smirk.

  


Chris sat up and snagged those fit hips, brushing a kiss along a sharp jaw. “All fucking hot.”

  


“That’s it!” Josh grabbed his hands and dragged him up to his feet. He was a little unstable and fell into him but he was easily caught, a brief kiss brushed across his lips to make his ears redden up even more. “You still want to?”  


“Fuck yes,” Chris promised, lacing their fingers together and walking him backward. They stumbled awkwardly out of the little half room and down the hall, only half paying attention as they kept stealing kisses. Chris was making the sweetest, breathless noises as his fingers fanned over smooth muscle, catching briefly on dark nipples and getting gently bitten at in reward. They bumped into the wall and Chris got pinned by the hips, sucking in a breath as a thigh between his own and hands slid under his shirt.

  


He whined, drunk on pure intensity. Josh mouthed all over his throat and rucked his shirt up underneath his arms, his hands taking a turn to grope. He winced as he felt himself give under those broad palms. He didn’t look like Josh, he knew that, but his friend seemed more than eager to feel all over his chest and brush teasingly across his nipples. They were more sensitive than he’d realized and he tried to swallow down more humiliating sounds. Josh could feel his desperate swallowing and mercilessly squeezed at them until he arched up, rocking against his thigh.

  


“God damn, Cochise,” Josh huffed against the underside of his jaw. He yanked off Chris’s shirt and they both laughed, grinning at one another as the blonde was yanked off the wall and shoved towards the bedroom. Chris chewed the side of his lip and spun around, trying to put on his ‘sexy’ face as he reached down and casually popped the button of his jeans. For an uncertain moment he thought he was being an idiot, but Josh made a low sound and followed the movement with unwavering attention. “Fucking gorgeous.”

  


“Jesus, man,” Chris laughed softly, fingers trailing down to adjust his swelling dick. “Don’t say shit like that.”

 

“You’re fucking crazy if you think I’m going to keep quiet about your sexy ass for one more second.” There was an edge of teasing to the words but the heat there made the other shudder. Josh gave a playful growl and started toward them, quiet laughter dancing between them as they met in a half kiss. They pawed at one another and made it only a few more feet before hitting the railing.

  


“The others-” Chris started, getting taken in a firmer kiss.  


“I don’t care.”

  


Chris nearly lost his glasses as his throat was attacked in biting, heavy kisses that he was sure would leave marks. He was helpless to do anymore than hold onto the railing and Josh’s shoulder as he was branded by his hungry mouth. Though he wanted to give in and lose himself, there was a noise he couldn’t ignore. They were lost in shadows but the others were still kind of milling about downstairs. He could see Emily and Jessica with their heads together over a video camera, whispering, and it set off alarm bells.

  


“Where are your sisters right now?” Chris asked, brow pinched up tight.

  


“Bro,” Josh grunted, pulling back with a grimace. “Can you not talk about them right _now_? Of all times?”

  


“But-”

  


“They’re hopefully getting drunk and having fun,” Josh drawled, making a face. “Real talk - I’m trying super hard not to lose my boner right now.”

  


Chris frowned at the conspiring girls and almost said something, maybe shouted down to the girls or grabbed his shirt to see where Hannah was (and Mike, that sleezeball), but he felt Josh’s teeth graze his shoulder and his knees threatened to give out when he bit down. “O-Okay, shutting up now, definitely shutting up.”

  


“Bedroom?”

  


“ _Bedroom_.”

  


They made it away from the railing and down the hall (which felt miles longer) and it was Josh who got thrown against the door. The show of strength made those wild eyes glisten and he snagged Chris by the front of the pants, dragging him into a sloppy kiss as he palmed for the doorknob. The faint brush of fingers against a hard cock made the blonde hiss and he went to bite at a full lip when they both stumbled backwards. The world spun on them and they made a bunch of embarrassing noises as they tried to keep their footing, grabbing at nothing but one another.

  


Josh’s room was one he’d had since he was a boy, including a shelf full of old toys they’d both grown up with that had been relocated after he’d redecorated his main room back at home. It was a straight shot from the door to the bed and Chris barely managed to kick it closed before he was grabbed by the front of his jeans again and pulled into a kiss.

  


“I _really_ want to get you naked.” Josh bit his lip and he winced, cock twitching in the prison of his boxers. Chris nodded wordlessly, getting caught up in another fierce kiss as he tried to take off his jeans. “Want to see you.”

  


“I-I’m not really impressive or anything, don’t be dis-” Chris moaned, words cutting off in a yelp as he was taken by the waist and tossed onto the bed. He bounced briefly, glasses finally skittering away to hit the carpet somewhere, and didn’t get full breath before Josh was kneeling between his bare knees, palms grazing his hairy calves and skimming up to thumb along his inner thighs, fingers teasing under the edge of his underwear. Chris was struck but how handsome he was. Messy dark hair and high, flushed cheeks and those lips so dark, red from abuse and softening up his sharp features. Those eyes - he’d always been entranced by those eyes. Large and innocent like a doe, but so easily full of mirth or heat and _rage_ and true, heartbreaking sorrow when the moment took him.

  


Chris’s chin was taken and he was kissed much more softly, a shy tongue grazing over his lip and making him sigh.

  


“Can I taste you?” Josh asked quietly, so quiet it could’ve been missed by how hard his blood was rushing. Chris nodded dumbly, not really registering at first, but when a kiss seared across his jaw he snapped back into reality.

  


“Wait...you mean…”

  


Josh’s cocky grin made him choke up. He got a nod and his cock jerked in his boxers, spurting wetly and smearing across the fabric. He whined and Josh looked more excited, eyeing the bulge. “Come on. Let me get a couple licks in.”

  


Chris flubbed hard as the edge of his boxers were hooked in strong fingers and tugged at. “I-I’m not - I won’t - “

  


“You think I’m gonna’ last more than a minute, Cochise?” Josh laughed, rubbing firm circles on the blonde’s thighs. “Just a little taste, okay? I just fucking need it real bad right now in case you sober up tomorrow and don’t want to ever again.”

  


His fingers dug in and Chris winced. The look on Josh’s face tugged at his heartstrings. He blanketed those hands and gave his distressed friend a smile, a real one. “I won’t lie, I’m drunk as fuck right now.” It was his turn to lean in and kiss the frown off Josh’s face, amateurly swiping at his lips for a taste of lingering salt. “That doesn’t mean I want this any less.”

  


Usually bright eyes flickered to the floor and he felt a wriggle of worry in his own chest.

  


“You playing right now, man?” he questioned, trying to clear the haze of booze long enough to see if Josh was spiraling away from him. His friend’s mouth hung open in a silent answer and Chris grabbed a fistful of hair and yanked him into a too-hard kiss. Josh moaned faintly and pawed at his thighs but he didn’t let up until he was getting kissed back.

  


“Real or not real?” Chris husked against his sore lips. When he didn’t get an answer he gave the man a sharp shake, knocking him back into his head. “Real or not real, Josh?”

  


“Real,” Josh breathed out, lashes fluttering, and when he looked at Chris again he seemed to be more solid despite the veil of intoxication. “Real, man. I’m here.”

  


“Okay,” Chris slowly let him go, slumping in relief. “Okay. You scared me for a second. _Shit_.”

  


Chris’s jaw dropped and his head fell back as pure, wet heat mouthed over his covered cock. His hips jerked up and he got so dizzy he had whine and clench his eyes shut for a few moments, the spinning ceiling too much for him. He panted noisily as the pressure continued and when he realized it was Josh’s mouth wetting his boxers, that it was his best friend’s hands on his hips and sliding down...it felt like his brain short-circuited.

  


“Fuck, fuck.” He broke off in a throaty whimper, hands fisting in the sheets. He couldn’t look - he’d lose it in a second if he did. Josh’s mouth was slow and covered every inch, tongue laving thickly all the way down to his balls. He swayed, clinging to the bed to try and keep himself stable, but everything felt _too_ much. A tongue flicked at him more firmly and he shuddered. Chris got so distracted in a heavy wave of dizziness and pleasure that he didn’t quite feel his boxers being eased down between his ass and the bed, over his thighs and down past his knees. The rush of cool air made his hair stand on end but it was the feeling of a mouth on bare skin that made him jolt. His boxers tangled briefly around his ankles before they were yanked off.

  


Chris sucked in a sharp breath and finally dropped his head down, chin nearly touching his chest. He dared to look and he almost came right then.

  


Josh was fucking _gorgeous_. He couldn’t think of a stronger word for it. Sharp, strong jaw touched and shadowed by the moonlight reflecting off the snow and spilling between the blinds. A dark fan of lashes covering those brilliant eyes as smooth, wet lips ran up the line of his cock. A soft moan washed over the sensitive flesh and Chris barely managed to keep from grinding his dick against his friend’s cheek and maybe into his hair because he was weird and that sounded like a great idea.

  


Then Josh slid his lips over the tip in a heavy kiss and everything nearly whited out in more ways than one. He clenched his eyes shut and hissed breaths through his teeth, fighting off the tightness in his balls and lacing through his thighs. _Don’t come, don’t come, don’t you fucking dare._

  


Josh kept his promise and didn’t break out any special moves. Chris’s dick was blood hot and the tip slid so easily past his lips and against his tongue. It was a good size and he liked the blonde curls that laid thick at the base. He never thought Chris would be furry but he liked it, liked how strangely soft they were when he rubbed his thumb over them. He suckled at the tip and memorized how it fit along his tongue, the starchy, tart taste and how it curved subtly to meet his mouth. He wanted to really blow him, to get him off and swallow everything he had to offer. But he wanted more, wanted them to really touch each other and the alcohol and his own desire was screaming for more of _everything_.

  


He kept glancing up at Chris, hoping for reassurance, and he got nervous when those blue eyes weren’t focused on him but closed instead. It put a sour feeling in his gut and he pulled back, dragging his teeth over his lower lip to chase the taste.

  
_Finally_ , Chris opened his eyes, and his smile was as dorky as ever. Josh tentatively returned it, fingers drumming a nervous beat on the blonde’s thighs. “Good?”

  


“Bro…”

  


“You weren’t, uh,” Josh laughed a little, the smile not meeting his eyes. “Like, imagining it was someone else were you?” His throat went tight when he saw the other’s confused frown. “Like  Ashley or something…?”

  


Chris awkward flirting and arms-length crush on Ashley wasn’t exactly a secret in their group. Josh had always encouraged him to make a move, to go for it, but even when he was drunk on a few bitch beers nothing came of it. The pure shock on Chris’s face made made his stomach bottom out, dick going a little soft as a lump of guilt caught in his throat. He hated projecting his anxieties, especially onto something he’d wanted so badly. _I’m a needy little shithead. Always have been._

  


“Oh!” Chris’s mind stopped it’s mad whirl of a search and clicked into place. “I wasn't imagining anyone else, dude. I was trying not to bust a nut ten seconds in. If I had stared at you, man…” He chuckled awkwardly, looking away. “Wouldn’t have lasted.”

  


“Oh,” Josh breathed out before perking up. “ _Oh!_ Shit, dude, did I get you that close so fast?”

  


“Shut up,” Chris muttered.

  


Josh stood up and thumbed open his jeans, shucking them off with one quick movement. Chris looked and his mouth fell open, gaze falling to the bulge there. It looked pretty impressive but he wasn’t sure what to do so he stayed still. He glanced at his friend’s face and saw a sharp smile, hunger etched on his face.

  


“Like I said earlier…” Josh’s voice was a low purr as he hooked his thumbs in his boxer briefs, sliding them down and staring straight at the other. Chris choked at the sight of his ruddy, thick cock that he’d only seen limp while changing and only in glimpses. When he dared to look up he felt almost branded by Josh’s gaze. “I _really_ want to get my hands on you and we can skip the ‘holy shit I want to suck a dude’s dick’ stuff later.”  


“I’m not freaking out,” Chris assured him, voice pitched an octave higher than usual in a fit of nerves. “Are you freaking out? This is fine. I’m totally fine.”

  


Josh raised a brow. “You ever done anything like this before?”

  
Chris made a show of scoffing. “Of course I have.”

  


“With a guy?” he needled.

  


“Well, I mean, not exactly-”  


“Fucking _yes_ ,” Josh hissed, dropping onto the bed on all fours. Chris made a sharp, undignified noise and started to crawl further up the mattress to get away. Josh flashed those pretty teeth in a carnal grin and he was caught by the hip, covered up and snatched in a kiss. _I can’t believe I get to be the first. Mine, mine, mine._

  


Chris let Josh eat at his mouth while he groped blindly, fingers grazing over a firm stomach before dipping lower. He’d never touched another cock but his own but he felt an unmistakable throb of need when his fingers curled around Josh’s own. It was heavy and warm, strange to feel against his palm at this angle. Josh drew back and hissed like a startled cat, back bowing as he got used to the sudden touch.

  


“Shit,” he spat out.

  


Their hips met and Chris let go of him so they could grind together, cocks getting caught between two planes of skin, sweat beading everywhere as they started to pant. Josh laid filthy, open-mouthed kisses all down Chris’s smooth jaw and throat to darken the marks from before. Chris fisted a handful of dark hair and chewed his lip as he worked their hips together, trying to work with his friend’s raw strength. It wasn’t exactly graceful but the dry grind was as painful as it was _amazing_.

  


“Fuck, we need slick,” Josh grumbled when the dry press became too much. He nibbled down Chris’s arm as he leaned over and ran his fingers along the side of the frame until they snagged on a jagged edge. He plucked it out and sat up, their legs getting tangled up and he struggled to rip the corner. Chris squirmed against the sheets as cold hair brushed against his leaking cock. They both felt exposed and vulnerable in that moment but it was cut through when the lube packet was ripped. They both gave moans of relief as the cool liquid dribbled over their dicks, sensitive skin twitching.

  


“No homo?” Josh prompted with an eyebrow waggle.

  


Chris burst into a deep belly laugh and he playfully bucked up against him, wetness smearing. “Bro, come on. _All_ the homo.”

  


They burst into laughter and the lust came back hotter than ever. Josh dropped down and he got grabbed by the neck and pulled into another kiss. They nipped and licked at one another, thighs fumbling around until they slid together in the perfect angle to give them both friction. They found a rhythm as they made up for all the time they hadn’t spent kissing. A _squeeze-slide-grind_ that was so much better with the lube.

  


“Fuck yes,” Chris panted, fingers digging dark red lines down his friend’s shoulder blades. Josh groaned against jaw, teeth dragging across his pulse. “You like marking me up, asshole?”

  


“Bet your sweet ass I do.”  
  
Josh propped one hand against the bed, raising up and reaching down with his other to fist both their cocks. They moaned and thrust messily into each other, huffing loudly and trying to kiss as they chased their releases. Neither would last long - drunk and wound up like this, it was surprising they’d lasted this long. Chris put his feet on the bed and ground against him, spilling out more noises that he would get all flustered about later. He couldn’t get over that Josh, his best friend, was touching his dick - jerking them off together. It was everything he wanted but too much and the liquor didn’t help.

  


“I’m gonna’-” Chris cut himself off, not wanting to sound like a cheap porn.

  


“Yeah, me too,” Josh smiled at him and it was like getting hit with pure sunlight and he choked. “You first, Chrissy. Wanna’ feel it.”

  


The words hit him right in the gut and he jerked against him, fingers digging into whatever flesh he could find. Chris chewed his lip so hard he split the skin and a groan rumbled in his throat, head tilting back in bliss as his hips kept rutting.

  


“Josh, _fuck_ .”  


“That’s it, baby.”

  


The nickname kicked him over the edge and he gave a strangled grunt as the pressure finally gave. He sputtered as he came between their bellies, cum smearing lewdly as they kept rutting. He tried to hide his face but Josh growled at him to knock it off and he kept his hands down, shyly trying to meet his friend’s gaze even as he twitched and his hips rolled to ride his orgasm.

  


Josh had never looked so sexy and he wanted to paint that raw intensity, the pure love etched in his eyes and the _want_ carved into the fine lines of his face.

  


Chris tentatively cupped his cheek, unsure what he was feeling with his own heart felt so tender and everything pretty much out in the open.

  


Josh let go of their wet cocks and grabbed the back of his hand, brow pinched up as he bit at his inner wrist. Chris hissed but he loved the sight of those abused lips against his skin, feeling his teeth digging in like he wanted to _really_ bite. Josh rutted against his softening cock and it was only a few moments before he got off too.

  


Chris saw the wash of sudden emotions through his best friend and he was quick to drop him into a hug, fingers lacing through his thick hair and splaying between his shoulder blades. He murmured Josh’s name and made small, soothing noises as he tried to ground him. Josh softly promised he was okay but he was clinging tight, wrapping his arms around Chris’s waist and laying his ear over his heart. They were gross and sticky and their bodies were buzzing from more than liquor but neither cared.

  


“Shit,” Josh sighed. “That was intense.”

  


Chris smiled but kept petting him. “Oh yeah.”

  


Josh breathed a sigh of relief against his chest and nosed at the skin in front of him, taking in the smell of musk and fresh sweat. Gentle fingers carded through his hair and he listened as Chris’s heart slowed to a strong, steady pace. It was comforting - the secret music of his life filling his ears and setting a pace for his own.

  


It was quiet then. As quiet as it had been since they’d walked away from the others. Chris was the first to break the comfortable silence.

  


“I don’t want to fuck this up.”

  


Josh hid his face in the safety of plush skin but fingers dug into his scalp and he knew he couldn’t ignore this. He picked his head up and Chris was chewing his lip, a little splash of red staining the skin from the split there.

  


“I’m still drunk, I can feel it, but…” Chris’s breath shuddered out of him. “I’ve kind of wanted to do this for a long time, and even if it’s just once, it was really fucking great but not great enough to fuck up our friendship.” He made another rough, low sound as he struggled with his own whirlwind of feelings. “We don’t have to talk about it or say anything after tonight but I can’t just not talk about how this...I mean, it doesn’t have to be serious, but it feels serious. Maybe it’s the booze, I don’t know, I just don’t want anything to change if it’s going to be bad and if you get freaked out tomorrow I don’t blame you but - _mnph_.”

  


Josh slotted their lips and ate up the rest of his words, being firm but gentle in the way that he trailed his fingers over the side of the other’s smooth cheek. Chris reluctantly melted into the touch, palms gliding down Josh’s arms and slipping in to thumb along his ribs.

  


“Chris.”

  


He pried open his eyes and Josh was gazing at him again, unafraid but soft.

  


“I...want you around,” Josh stated with a strange stilted tone, looking as if each word stung his tongue. “I want you around for a long time, okay? I like us...like this.” He laid a hand on Chris’s bare chest, frowning. “I’m kinda’ out of it right now, but I want it, okay?”

  


Chris knew how much it took for Josh to talk about what he was feelings when he was close to dipping, maybe even dissociating, so the effort meant everything. He swallowed an overwhelming ’ _I love you’_ and settled for sitting up a little to kiss him.

  


“Okay,” Chris whispered reassuringly, reaching up to thumb at his cheek. “Okay, man. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”

  


Josh just nodded before plopping down beside him. They stared at one another, blinking slowly as the liquor tried to drag them under into sleep. Their hands slid closer and fingers laced.

  


“We should clean up,” Chris offered around a yawn.

  


Josh grunted in agreement but didn’t move to do anything about it.

  


Within minutes, they were out cold.

  


o0o

  


Chris groaned softly as he woke to a pounding headache. He cradled his head between his hands and let his thumbs massage his aching temples. The bed felt amazingly soft against him but his body ached and he just wanted to stretch every muscle but also _die_ if that was at all possible. He felt like he had to pry his eyes open but when he did it was worth it.

  


The curtains were drawn back and Josh was standing there, looking out the window with his arms over his head, stretching. The light washed over his fit form and he looked heavenly, rays peeking past the line of his waist. He turned and smiled and Chris felt his heart skip a beat. Sunlight splashed over Josh’s face, whiting out some of it, but his smile was blinding and his eyes sparkled. He was more than radiant - he was unearthly.

  


_‘_ _I love you’_ bubbled up on his tongue again and almost escaped, but it was cut off with a knock on the door. It was a frantic sound, quick and desperate, and they both frowned.

  


“Josh?”

  


They glanced at one another. “Sam?”

  


“Josh, you need to get out here right now. The police are downstairs. We called them, we think something happened to Hannah and Beth.”  

  


Chris’s stomach bottomed out when he heard Ashley’s muffled sobs through the door. She spoke and it was reedy, trembling. “It was just a prank. Just a fucking _stupid_ prank.”

  
  
  
  


 


End file.
